In today’s society where it seems like everyone and their mother is boo’d up, it is easy to feel behind or even lonely. From constant proposals and wedding photos popping up left and right on your feed, the questions of “why not me?” and “what am I doing wrong?” may arise. But what if your single season is really a growing period for you to blossom into your best self? Cortney Wade in her book, “Is Singleness Ghetto, or Are We Blooming? Journal Entries from a Christian Single Woman” offers us a fresh perspective on singleness.
In her book, Cortney describes the single season as a beautiful flower in its process of blooming. As we all know, your favorite flower does not grow in a day. It takes planting, watering, and tending for a seed to finally blossom. In the same way, your single season, while it may feel long and drawn out, is just preparing you for the ultimate bloom. The loneliness and pain of this season teaches us patience, builds our endurance, and shows us that good things take time: “Embrace the season you are in, enjoy the journey and just know that this season of singleness won’t last forever, seasons change but the knowledge and growth you take from each season will last a lifetime,” Wade writes.
While it may seem irritating to see everyone on baecation or being showered in romance, what we are not going to do is settle for crumbs. While it may seem tempting to go with a person that is just “okay” just so we can say we are in a relationship, Cortney tells us that nothing good comes out of despair or desperation, writing, “God will always give you nuggets of hope reminding you in due time every prayer according to God’s will for your life will be answered. So be patient, trust God and never settle for less, God will always provide the best.”
In the inspirational words of Miley Cyrus, “I can buy myself flowers!” Cortney tells us that we do not have to wait for a partner to give us the things we want. If you like flowers, buy them; if you like to be wined and dined, put on your sexiest dress and take yourself out to a nice dinner! In her book, Cortney reminds us that we are more than deserving of showing ourselves all the love we deserve.
The single period may feel never ending at times, but Cortney pushes to lean on our faith, practice self compassion and love, and never settle. And in due time, you and your perfect partner will find one another.
You can shop Cortney’s book “Is Singleness Ghetto, or Are We Blooming” on Amazon.
